du4ne:

me as a prom dj

"time to slow things down a little blt"

*plays crank dat souja boy (acoustic version)*

(via jesuschristvevo)



(via instagrampa)



troyesivan:

tokomon:

if only i could be as happy as her </3

me at every meal

(via kingsleyyy)


goteamjosh:

Sometimes I like to pretend that I’m Linda Belcher from Bob’s Burgers while I pet Stark.

(via joshpeck)


(via pizza)


(via shreknation)


carryonmy-assbutt:

rose-for-a-tenner:

carryonmy-assbutt:

guys what do hostages do if they have to pee really badly

like do the bad guys let you have toilet breaks or escort you to the loo

My cousin was held for 36 hours by the Gulf cartel. He said they were pretty chill about bathroom breaks.

I want more to that story

(via rneerkat)



o-dawgtheinvincible:

sigmarikz:

certaflyably:

thirstingaintdead:

Top 3 phrases that’ll create sexual tension

  1. "Make me",
  2. "oh really",
  3. "is that so"

"prove it"

"What’s in it for me?"

"The Black Death was one of the most devastating pandemics in human history, resulting in the deaths of an estimated 75 to 200 million people and peaking in Europe in the years 1348–50 CE."

(via asparagays)


brunette-nymphette:

This is the best episode ever

(via kingsleyyy)


i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed:

me when i have to present in class

(via joshpeck)


blastortoise:

I think the funniest thing that’s ever happened to me during a sexual situation was when I was giving my first boyfriend a blow job and he was like “yeah take it all choke on it” and i was already at the base of his dick and it wasn’t anywhere near the back of my throat and I like snorted from laughing, I guess he took at as me “choking” and he came and was like “fuuuck that’s so sexy” and I just came up like

image

(via sarahdaktyl)


funkybug:

snailofficial:

agendr:

but how would a SNAIL react to the friendzone

The friendzone is a myth perpetrated by misogynists who use it to shame their female friends into sex. I am absolutely disgusted by it.

snails are truly upstanding citizens

(via jesussbabymomma)